In The Beginning - The Foundation of First Love | The New Engagement

In The Beginning - The Foundation of First Love

By Damon Percy

In The Beginning…

He declared “I gave you your magic.”
Indeed he did.
When he took me I became beauty, as my soul was infused by the dexterity of his desire.
He called me beautiful like it was my name, as he shaped what was waiting to be seen.
What he saw I could yet not, until he made it so
How he wanted me to see myself came from his reflection
purest love in absolute perfection.

Freedom was in the middle of our field, a valley which always welcomed the birth and rebirth of us,
ripe and unblemished
where we would lie hidden in the night sky and name stars that belonged to us.
Our souls would slow dance between constellations and clouds
capturing comets that blazed past us,
wicked laughter echoing in the darkness
secure in the middle of a misconstrued matrix.

Creating an overwhelming emotional construct of us
he poured promises of protection, selfish possessiveness, domineering passion
Blossoming, my senses reimagined so much of what love wanted to be
and because he desired me as such, the trueness of we allowed me to

…feel sound…
…hear emotion…
…absorb color
…become flavors
…defy sexuality
…transpose touch

I would shiver a bit and pulling me into himself,
he would whisper that my love was his first
and past this nothing else would ever matter more.
“this whole world could be ours, right here nobody sees us but God.”
That declaration defined every following moment,
for there was no turning back from the pursuit of love, ever.


Enchanted Entitlement

He said
     “We have some unfinished business,”
Smelling of bravado, sandalwood and mint, he drew me to him and whispered
“May I have the chance to be your King?”
     “I thought you already were”
I never had the chance,
     …the way I wanted
          …the way you deserved
               …the way I am ENTITLED to
                                          …the way I should have.

I have to show you why the crown shall always only belong to me.  

We sat in the middle of the sky
 seeing the night with eyes of new purpose
I can remember the freshness; the fierceness;
What was going on;
what we were doing
how we were
where we were.

Who we were!
Two young men, discovering love in the middle of a life that was just beginning.

Even as a young husband
you wanted protect me from the unknown seeking to destroy what it refused to understand.
You sought to stop the world, so just you and I would be left
                                                                                                            ….to be.
I wanted the heart of romanticism to be reflected
     in the way you looked at me,
          the way you spoke to me,
               right down to the way you inhaled me.  

There are more kisses to be had
more hugs to be given
More meaningful conversations into the wee hours to be made
Nothing ended badly
nothing ended abruptly,
Yet nothing was taken care of in the way of a heart completely still belonging but not being
It matters not how many hearts have passed between us – seen or unseen.
There are places in hearts held ONLY for the sound of love moving in silence
The silence of submission to a love revolving around reasons never given
but perhaps rationalized fully.
stewing in the seasoning of developed desire.
Many moons later
you remain the jealous, insanely beautiful boy I fell in love with by the bleachers.
The comingling of our scents
the masculine musk and yielding male softness
you have created me to be as your very presence commands my thoughts to you.
Speaking with you late night on the phone reminds me
someone has always loved me enough to sacrifice slumber.
For you the satisfaction
is simply me curling up next to you while you fall asleep
slightly askew on a love seat entirely too small for your muscular frame.

How proud I am you chose me
and would still hold my hand no matter what, how or where.


He Calls Me Beautiful Like It’s My Name….

When he speaks, the world stops.
When a man says that, it means more than just the transparency of you standing before him.
Beautiful is the color of your soul.
Beautiful is the resonance of your presence
…beautiful is the name given to you by his love.

When he smiles so bashfully, he is overwhelmed completely,
Completely committed to recognizing the beauty lying before him.
Beautiful is the strength of your vulnerability
Beautiful is the yielding of your tenacity.
…beautiful is saying yes to the universe.

The beauty of bowing to what has been cosmically coerced
after a period of incubation and incessant implications.
How when you thought to be drawn to me so long ago,
 the revelations of my soul made you fall in love and made you know
 from every moment forward my beauty was to become such an integral part of your routine
…your thoughts
     …your feelings
          …and your fears.

Your energy afforded me permission to express the trueness of my heart right before your eyes,
I blossomed into the most exquisite flower, primed to be adored, cherished and protected.
Beautiful is saying what you feared could not be spoken despite any consequences present.

When he says it to himself, you can feel it across the universe.
Feel how has captured the intimacy of your intercourse without laying you down.
Feel how you have captured his essence and devotion simply by being….
When he randomly messages you to tell you how beautiful you are
…in the middle of a moment,
     …in the middle of moonlight
          …in the middle of madness.

When he calls me beautiful, the beauty I longed to be, is the beauty he has willed me to become.
The beauty of light enveloping us
….how strange is it that what you see can be felt a million miles away
How beautiful is it to get to the heart of a man who is so strong and powerful,
 but regards you with tenderness and boyish wonder because He calls you beautiful.
Then, you have allowed yourself to be open, so I will know you have always called me beautiful.
Always felt me to be;  willed me to be;  desired me to be; created me to be, crafted us to be;

Revelations in the night
shared under a night sky
shifted the atmosphere
and moved our hearts in such a way
that beauty was all that could describe the moment.
As I transformed before your eyes, you tucked away what I become for your own sacredness.
Because you have named me and so I have become


Damon Percy is a Detroit native who received his B.A. in Journalism from Wayne State University and has written for KICK! Magazine, Sapience Magazine, Pop Matters, Nu-Soul Magazine, anthologized in Musichound R&B: The Essential Album Guide; Musichound Jazz: The Essential Album Guide and is the author of Conversations With Love: A Poetic Journey and the current editor and lead writer for Momentum Magazine. He hopes to present positive and inspiring images of black gay men in all facets, particularly in healthy love situations and have his voice heard in productive and powerful ways.

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